It was just yesterday that this happened, it brought a subtle grin on my face and instantly relaxed my mind. I knew it is a wealth that cannot be stolen, it multiplies as you spread it amongst others. I was on my way back from my aunt’s place. There was an auto running parallel to my cab. One may wonder, whats the big deal!, there are so many travelling on the roads, all the time. Agreed! Yet, seldom do we come across people, rather two sweet little girls looking through the auto at us and smiling. Even when they were ahead of me, they peeped out and smiled. And as I smiled back at them, their happiness knew no boundary. I felt a sort of relief, like a heavy heart that just shed its weight. Despite a lot of emotional turbulence, I managed to smile, feel good, feel happy.
I think it is a very essential etiquette, that we must inculcate in our children, to smile. To smile when someone looks at us. It brings positive attitude and I am sure may lure a lot of opportunities.
Drawing from my own experience, it was so hard for my colleague to smile back at me, as she looked at me, for some unknown reason. I had not known her before and was a pain to her since day 1.God knows for what reason. It took weeks of constant humble smile, every-time I looked at her, that she finally once, threw back a smile at me and that day I finally felt good doing my job as a team.
Although, this may look really insignificant, but imagine how much more would you be interested in your workplace if your colleagues, if not so much fun, maintained a cordial relation with you, just a smile or acknowledgment of your presence. Imagine that day, that went really bad, but a smile from your loved one, managed to take your stress away. Imagine yourself, stranded in a new city, but a smile on a stranger’s face, wouldn’t take your fear away. Imagine yourself strangled in a heavily crowded bus, but the sight of a little kid smiling at you, took your irritation away. Imagine a doctor or nurse smile, while giving you that dreaded syringe, didn’t that take your fear away??
Mad meets crazy! 😂
So, it has been 6 months since I made this “mammoth decision”, getting married, and 3 months into it. Did I know this person before? Did any of my relatives introduce this family to us? NO! Will his opinions match mine or understand the kind of person I am? I DON’T KNOW! So how did it all happen in such a short span? Well, I think some things are just meant to be and not to forget, being positive is the key.
My father had been looking for matches for me for a long time. He kept sending out various profiles that he received for me, from a very advanced “Whatsapp marriage group”, and like any other girl in her 23-24s, I kept rejecting them. It had been quite a while and I felt that I probably have been playing with his patience way too much. So I decided to give, any other match appealing to me, a shot. That is when I came across Rakendu’s profile. I was intrigued by his profile in various ways, he belonged to an offbeat profession- Movies, something that was an entirely different world to me. That given, he was looking for an arranged marriage, handsome yet single, someone into so much creativity is willing to see me, a 9-5 IT job person. I agreed to meet him as well and our parents spoke about when and hows.
The day finally came, I was all anxious, with a lot of thoughts revolving in my head. I even had a dream of meeting and rejecting him for not being able to speak in proper English!! How lame could I get! I had told my friends that I am going say no or get rejected anyways and come out with flying colors of successfully pushing forward my wedding and go single again for a lot more time. Although I had other plans, I decided to meet him with an open and positive mind.
They had entered the house and I was kept in hiding, until they requested to see me. My feet were trembling, I was in the middle of feeling pure amusement over the custom laid to see someone and nervousness. We were seated in front of the family in a typical Andhra style “pelli choopulu” pattern, with prospective bride and groom in the center. After some not being myself acts(being shy and keeping calm), while trying to steal a glance or two of how he looked like,our parents boasting about our achievements, we were allowed to talk to each other in person.
It was amusing and weird, thinking that people outside are waiting for us to talk for five minutes and decide whether we wanted to be together for the rest of our lives. This concept has always been a mystery to me.
We enter the room, the door is closed for us to talk in privacy. I did not know what to talk about, neither did he. Both of us did not prepare any questionnaire to ask. We started with “Its all so weird” and laughed at it, there were awkward, yet not so awkward pauses(if you know what I mean), we still somehow wanted and continued to talk. To our surprise, we did not realize that we had been talking for more than 40 minutes! In these 40 minutes we talked about Shah Rukh Khan, technically “Shah Rukh ne bana di jodi”, we are huge fans, we talked about interests, passion and special love towards art. All the forms that he learned during his childhood, and I am like wait a minute! Are you Robo 2.0??. We talked about how both of us have always been the kind of people who lived in the present, more than sobbing over past and waiting for future. I, apparently was also being sarcastic at one point(proud! Rarely do I use my brain).
So yeah! We talked a lot. Although I might not remember everything that we spoke, its not bad how I am able to remember the stuff better- given the Ghazini I am, I still can feel the moment. There was a spark in our conversation, it was effortless and I also discovered that a lot of his thoughts, opinions and ideas were aligned to mine. We followed our instincts, said “Yes” and rest is history.
Now when I look back at all this, I realized staying positive and open, helped to make a conscious decision.Our choices, decisions and reactions are all results of our state of mind. If you believe in yourself and stay positive, I am sure, there is no turning back.
PS: He really does speak in good English and I found myself , foolishly looking at him for the dream I had! LOL.
“Arranged marriage or Love marriage??” is the first question you come across after you break it to your friends, families and others that you are getting married. We, Me and Rakendu, were no exception to that. People had a list of questions that they wanted to know, probably more than we thought of or asked each other when we met. Being a girl, I always felt that my life is going to change. No time for friends or hanging out, influenced decisions, controlled life, obligations and everything that will make my life not the same anymore.
In this progressive era, where we want to hang on to people we know really well, so that there are no big surprises ahead, people have unanimously agreed upon “Love marriage” being the better option. There are a lot of taboo associated with the notion of Love/Arranged marriages. Although I believe in successful relationship, having mutual love is important, but there is no denying the fact that there are lot of other factors that come into play once that relationship in transformed into a long term commitment. Ultimately both love and arranged marriages would be playing on similar grounds to stand chance for survival. Be it sharing your success and happiness or making compromises towards each other or dealing with our parents and social life.
I still remember Rakendu telling me one time, people want to know if its love or arranged, since it happened all so suddenly and he replied it is “love and arranged”, leaving it to everyone’s imagination about what happened first! But more importantly putting up the fact that we have come to believe that we could be each others support systems, no matter what situations we may fall in.
The truth is, Rakendu and I had an arranged marriage. It has been 3 months into our marriage and I can proudly call us “The cool couple” -#givingoutcouplegoals #dontcareifothersdontthinkso. I have always felt the same kind of zeal for life in him that I felt in me, or maybe even more. He is this happy soul who just knows spreading positive spirit and inspiration around. It did have an effect on me as well. For a long time now I have been wanting to pursue my interests and he has turned out to be more than just supportive to me.
He says, he is not a very expressive person, but I think he is way more expressive than I am, and I am learning from him. He takes time to leave me cute little notes, for not being around while falling asleep. I may have just woken from sleep and probably looking ghastly, he’d slowly come to me and say “you look cute”, there you are giving weird expressions like “seriously!!” while you are dancing on cloud nine. Never misses to hug and kiss me good bye while I leave for work. As minute as they may seem, these gestures probably have a lot more to tell than those words.
It is in the understanding of this beautiful relation as a gift rather than a responsibility has probably helped us out. Being me is all he asked for and being him is all I needed and we are pretty much sailing in the right direction. Every time I am around him and we are talking just as randomly, I feel inside me the happiness, that I made a right choice. It is not about love or arranged, early or late, it is about finding the right person and feeling that spark and energy around that person.
Hey! guys, I hope you liked my blog,if you think this is how you felt,want it and connected to it. Then stay tuned as I will soon come up with why I actually fell for him, about our first meeting and talks and what followed next in our eventful lives.